Journey- to- Wellness
Journey- to- Wellness DAY 3
I am in the present now. It's been a good day and I would rather write about good things as long as I am feeling well and feeling comfortable with myself.
That's what I search for all the time --my comfort zone. I dont know exactly what it is but when I am in it I know Iam there.
I have heard so many good things from Heather and Emily and I am so grateful to both of them for all that they have given me. I read some posts last night that really stirred me inside and made me remember more about me. There is a lot of me that is buried away and I dont know how to find it I dont know if I want to find it If I ned to find it. But everyday is a new day and it takes us down a new path. Every morning I Praise the Lord for all the gifts he has given me and ask for his blessing and to help me find the way to be well and tolet go of the negative ugly past. This is a new me. I was never like that befoe but I have grasped on to God and I there is a reason for all this and whatever test I am going through I pray it will end soon.
Now I know there is so much more I want to write about Ther are no rules here I can flip back and forth between now and then. Cincinnati was my hope and dream for the future.
But it wasnt like that at all. Everything went wrong. But if it didnt then I wouldnt be here today trying to tell my story.
I saw a lot of friends yesterday and they were all so glad to see me doing so well and walking better and looking better. I had had traction that morning. First time ever. Iwasnt even sure what it was. But it helped so much It took so much pain away
and relaxed the nerves so I could sit and walk and be more comfortable
Today the pain was back Its always back in the morning. I sleep in such crazy positions it alwasys goes out of wack. Ineed to do some stretching and moving to even feel human I tried to visualize the feeling of the traction and put my electrical stimulation on my back and leg. It helped a lot. I have mixed felings about the electric stim. Sometimes it helps sometimes it just feels like these annoying charges going through my leg and back.
I have neurostimulater in my right buttocks. it helps my IBs and Bladder difficulties Sometimes that is annoying but it is ding its job pretty well And thats what I like. My surgeon wants to put in anothr one in my left buttocks to contol the nerves of my spine and leg.
I have committed myself this summer to finding the right tools to help this pain because I dont want another surgery. I have had enough 4 of them Enough Basta!!!
So today I am good. Tomorrow I have a baby shower. In the back of my mind I am scared of the food. I dont like these food situations very much.
I live in a world (meaning my friends,family, associates) where unhealthy food is the norm. I have trouble watching people eat.
My own husband sits down every night and eats a bag of cookies and a bag of pretzels. If we are out he needs to run to the Ralphs. And they say I have an eating disorder.
But Iam happy about tomorrow I love my freind She has gone througha difficult time. going through invitro so we are just so thrilled she is having a healthy baby.
I was lucky to have a healthy baby girl. I had so destroyed my body with my Ed that getting pregnant was aslo very diffficult but it happened and I am so grateful
Now I am in the head togive thanks to God every day for my beautiful baby girl. My beautiful baby girl who was as healthy as could be who at the age of 11 became so anorexic that we almost lost her. It spiraled me down into the worse relapse I have ever had. But that will come later inmy story
My baby is health and all grown up, a big shot career woman and I am as proud of her as I can be. She is everything I never was. She is a huge success.
Well as I am still having a good day I am going to closenow and go enjoy the rest of the day It is friday and I plan to have a great weekend
In love & Health
Karen
I am in the present now. It's been a good day and I would rather write about good things as long as I am feeling well and feeling comfortable with myself.
That's what I search for all the time --my comfort zone. I dont know exactly what it is but when I am in it I know Iam there.
I have heard so many good things from Heather and Emily and I am so grateful to both of them for all that they have given me. I read some posts last night that really stirred me inside and made me remember more about me. There is a lot of me that is buried away and I dont know how to find it I dont know if I want to find it If I ned to find it. But everyday is a new day and it takes us down a new path. Every morning I Praise the Lord for all the gifts he has given me and ask for his blessing and to help me find the way to be well and tolet go of the negative ugly past. This is a new me. I was never like that befoe but I have grasped on to God and I there is a reason for all this and whatever test I am going through I pray it will end soon.
Now I know there is so much more I want to write about Ther are no rules here I can flip back and forth between now and then. Cincinnati was my hope and dream for the future.
But it wasnt like that at all. Everything went wrong. But if it didnt then I wouldnt be here today trying to tell my story.
I saw a lot of friends yesterday and they were all so glad to see me doing so well and walking better and looking better. I had had traction that morning. First time ever. Iwasnt even sure what it was. But it helped so much It took so much pain away
and relaxed the nerves so I could sit and walk and be more comfortable
Today the pain was back Its always back in the morning. I sleep in such crazy positions it alwasys goes out of wack. Ineed to do some stretching and moving to even feel human I tried to visualize the feeling of the traction and put my electrical stimulation on my back and leg. It helped a lot. I have mixed felings about the electric stim. Sometimes it helps sometimes it just feels like these annoying charges going through my leg and back.
I have neurostimulater in my right buttocks. it helps my IBs and Bladder difficulties Sometimes that is annoying but it is ding its job pretty well And thats what I like. My surgeon wants to put in anothr one in my left buttocks to contol the nerves of my spine and leg.
I have committed myself this summer to finding the right tools to help this pain because I dont want another surgery. I have had enough 4 of them Enough Basta!!!
So today I am good. Tomorrow I have a baby shower. In the back of my mind I am scared of the food. I dont like these food situations very much.
I live in a world (meaning my friends,family, associates) where unhealthy food is the norm. I have trouble watching people eat.
My own husband sits down every night and eats a bag of cookies and a bag of pretzels. If we are out he needs to run to the Ralphs. And they say I have an eating disorder.
But Iam happy about tomorrow I love my freind She has gone througha difficult time. going through invitro so we are just so thrilled she is having a healthy baby.
I was lucky to have a healthy baby girl. I had so destroyed my body with my Ed that getting pregnant was aslo very diffficult but it happened and I am so grateful
Now I am in the head togive thanks to God every day for my beautiful baby girl. My beautiful baby girl who was as healthy as could be who at the age of 11 became so anorexic that we almost lost her. It spiraled me down into the worse relapse I have ever had. But that will come later inmy story
My baby is health and all grown up, a big shot career woman and I am as proud of her as I can be. She is everything I never was. She is a huge success.
Well as I am still having a good day I am going to closenow and go enjoy the rest of the day It is friday and I plan to have a great weekend
In love & Health
Karen
posted by karen at 5:30 PM
2 Comments:
Hi Karen,
Thank you for letting us be a part of your journey by sharing your thoughts and experiences with us! I do think this is such a wonderful thing about the Internet, that it allows people to connect on such an intimate level that they would never dare connect on in real life! Here you are, sharing some of your deepest, most private thoughts with us, and yet, I could be your next door neighbor, and we might never talk about anything more personal than the weather!
It is so true what you say: no rules here. That's the best part! You can write about whatever you want, in whichever order, no matter the syntax or grammar, you can just pour out your heart and mind, and you never need to worry about anyone criticizing you, because this is YOUR space, and the reason anyone is here reading this is because they care for you and want to support you! If they didn't, they wouldn't waste their time reading what you have to say. Isn't it wonderful?
I'm glad you're having a good day! I hope the weekend continues on like that!
You sound so proud of your daughter! She must be a very special lady!
Have a great time at the baby shower, and keep writing, dear friend! I look forward to finding out more about your story and connecting with you more!
love,
Emily
Hi Karen, Thank you for sharing more of your story. I hope this weekend turns out beautiful for you -- let us know how it went.
I can imagine that your daughter is a success -- look at you, who is so strong, who she learned from. You are quite a success yourself -- every day, you keep moving forward. You show us that the human spirit can overcome -- that's how I feel when I read your posts. It's like you're telling us that we all have the power to get back up and love -- and learn -- and share our souls with others.
With love,
Heather
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