Journey- to- Wellness
Journey- to- Wellness
Day 4
I do aplogize for the length of time it tookme to get back here This has been very hard for me and I guess sometimes I push it to the backof my mind And then sometimes i am scared to face what I need to write.
I had a great sesion with my therapist this week and we opened new doors and I told him things I have never told any one.
I think we are ready to move past the day to day pain and get on with why it is there and how to get rid of it.
I know I left you in Cincinnati. I thought it was going to be my rescue. It changed my life forever but up until I was a grown married woman did I realize that everything needed to happen to get me to where I am now. I am not sure where that is but I have been at better places.
I really loved school and for the most part did well but I had a lot of friends and I got into drugs and politics and it was the vietnam era and my life didnt go so great. I wanted to be free and do what I wanted and still pursue my education. But i got somessed up. I was one of those freshman who proved she couldnt handle it Too much freedom,too much money, too much time
My parents were not happy and they pulled the strings.
They pulled me out after the first year. Said they werent going to pay if I was not going to be serious. I thought I was going to die. I wantd to be at that University more than anything in the world I had great friends We were doing great stuff and they wouldnt send me back.
Ihave a lot of blanks over the next several years so I will try to fillthem inas best as I can.
I just remember I had problems with food and drugs and I looked like alittle boy. I am a small person 5' small boned I had short hair and totally flat. The only time I ever saw breasts was when I was pregnant and nursing and that wasnt until way later
That year is really kind of blocked I know Iworked for a while went to a state college to keep up with school. Tried to save so I could go back to Cincinnati in the fall. I guess Iworked really hard. Had some friends at home that didnt go off to school had a few boyfriends. But when September came around I was ready to go.
I dont remember the family dynamics but Iwent and it was going to be good. Iwent back to my old friends and we went backto partying and I stopped eating . A lot of whats coming is what was told to me.
Well I overdosed and locked myself in the bedroom.
The police broke down the door and carted me off to Childrens Hospital. And then Along CAme MARTY. He came to drag me backto NJ and get help.
I had brought such shame on the family as if anybody knew or even cared. I dont even remember getting help
I dont remember much about what happens next but I do remember Betsy. She came along and changed so much of my world. Those were times I would keep in my heart forever if I could remember it all but I remembr a lot.
If things had been bad with the parents before they were about o get so much worse.
I cant write much at a time I get so tired and my back and leg hurt so much from sitting
I am going to close for today Saturday MAy 26,2006.
But I will write again real soon
I promise
In Love & Health
KAren
Day 4
I do aplogize for the length of time it tookme to get back here This has been very hard for me and I guess sometimes I push it to the backof my mind And then sometimes i am scared to face what I need to write.
I had a great sesion with my therapist this week and we opened new doors and I told him things I have never told any one.
I think we are ready to move past the day to day pain and get on with why it is there and how to get rid of it.
I know I left you in Cincinnati. I thought it was going to be my rescue. It changed my life forever but up until I was a grown married woman did I realize that everything needed to happen to get me to where I am now. I am not sure where that is but I have been at better places.
I really loved school and for the most part did well but I had a lot of friends and I got into drugs and politics and it was the vietnam era and my life didnt go so great. I wanted to be free and do what I wanted and still pursue my education. But i got somessed up. I was one of those freshman who proved she couldnt handle it Too much freedom,too much money, too much time
My parents were not happy and they pulled the strings.
They pulled me out after the first year. Said they werent going to pay if I was not going to be serious. I thought I was going to die. I wantd to be at that University more than anything in the world I had great friends We were doing great stuff and they wouldnt send me back.
Ihave a lot of blanks over the next several years so I will try to fillthem inas best as I can.
I just remember I had problems with food and drugs and I looked like alittle boy. I am a small person 5' small boned I had short hair and totally flat. The only time I ever saw breasts was when I was pregnant and nursing and that wasnt until way later
That year is really kind of blocked I know Iworked for a while went to a state college to keep up with school. Tried to save so I could go back to Cincinnati in the fall. I guess Iworked really hard. Had some friends at home that didnt go off to school had a few boyfriends. But when September came around I was ready to go.
I dont remember the family dynamics but Iwent and it was going to be good. Iwent back to my old friends and we went backto partying and I stopped eating . A lot of whats coming is what was told to me.
Well I overdosed and locked myself in the bedroom.
The police broke down the door and carted me off to Childrens Hospital. And then Along CAme MARTY. He came to drag me backto NJ and get help.
I had brought such shame on the family as if anybody knew or even cared. I dont even remember getting help
I dont remember much about what happens next but I do remember Betsy. She came along and changed so much of my world. Those were times I would keep in my heart forever if I could remember it all but I remembr a lot.
If things had been bad with the parents before they were about o get so much worse.
I cant write much at a time I get so tired and my back and leg hurt so much from sitting
I am going to close for today Saturday MAy 26,2006.
But I will write again real soon
I promise
In Love & Health
KAren
posted by karen at 2:18 PM
2 Comments:
Karen,
It sounds like you have gone through A LOT! Thank you for opening up and sharing with us! I'm sure you will find it very liberating to write about your experiences!
I'm glad you found good people to work with: therapist, Qi Gong... Is the person teaching you to do Qi Gong, or is she practicing Medical Qi Gong on you?
Keep us posted on your progress, and I am curious to read the continuation of your story!
love,
Emily
Hi Karen, One thing that struck me is that you are a very loveable person -- people keep showing up in your life (Marty, Betsy, etc.). Sometimes it's us who think we are not loveable...and then people come along and prove us wrong.
Also, you are resilient -- that is clear. It is inspiring, this kind of resilience.
With love,
Heather
Post a Comment
<< Home